Google Sage

No, he died in 1902

  
To be fair, my two-year old doesn't even know who Abraham Lincoln is.  

Something to think about during the weekend

 
Don't say this blog isn't educational. Yes, cats have lips and here's proof.

No, seriously.

 
Considering that adolescents basically dominate Google queries, it's kind of funny to see that teens even want to know how Twitter makes money.

In honor of New Moon

 
It's my hope that "date a normal girl" refers to a non-famous type of normal rather than a non-vampire type of normal. Either way, no, he won't date you.

These are the people in your neighborhood

 
It's good to have goals.

Can I marry my dog for a green card?

 
 And to think that gay folks want to get married. Sick.

Good News. Bad News

 
 The good news is that you don't have a wart...

Can my parents see my texts? Here's the truth.

 
This isn't a funny matter so I'll respond to this in all seriousness. Yes, your parents can read your text messages. In fact, when they bought you your phone there was an option to send a copy of all your text messages (and the message you receive) to a central database. That database is accessible to anyone who has the username and password, including your parents, grandparents and teachers. However, there is a good news: a few parents opt out of this database option. The database option often goes by the name "family plan." If you're concerned, you should ask your parents if you have a "family plan." But don't worry, text messages are only saved in the database for five years. With the exception of photos -- all photos you receive or send are saved for at least fifteen years (check your states law for individual photo storage laws).

The Family that Googles together...

 
 
 
 
As you can see, it's scientifically proven that family members that use Google hate each other. Also, as this blog's tagline explains, all queries end up being about green poop.

When is it time...

 
 Why can't it be time "to get an ice cream cone" or "play frisbee in the park?" Additionally, there is no way "I'm Feeling Lucky" can apply to this query.