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Not sure why I think watching the Twilight Zone marathon before bed is a good idea. 07/04/2009

Trying to convince @kteeger that no, Scott Bakula, is not Ryan's father. #SYTYCD 07/02/2009

Sorry for the Twitter Spam -- that's my karmic retribution for making fun of @aa doing the same thing last week. 07/01/2009

I really want to slap those fools in the Carl's Jr. commercial who think their burgers cost $20 each 06/30/2009

Uh oh. Just bought something at a benefit auction that I have to explain to Ben. 06/29/2009

Enjoying @byrnereese 's account their baby's suddne arrival. Way to go Arin & Byrne! Congratus on your beautiful girl. http://bit.ly/19MogV 06/28/2009

How lazy am I? Well I just watched the movie "Jumper" and wished I had his powers so I could jump upstairs and get a glass of milk. 06/24/2009

How lazy am I? Well I just watched the movie "Jumper" and wished I had his powers so I could jump upstairs and get a glass of milk. 06/24/2009

Is there any way to browse twitter archives for a user without paging through more over and over again? I'm looking for something from 2007! 06/24/2009

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A Bumper Sticker View into Somebody's Soul

On my drive to work today, the pickup truck driving in front of me was sporting a partially peeled off bumper sticker that had seen better days. And by better days, I mean the 1980s. I could only make out a couple words from where I was driving so once we hit some traffic I was delighted to finally read the sticker in all its classiness. The sticker read:

I Wonder if You'd Drive Any Better if that CAR PHONE was UP YOUR BUTT?

I spent half of the remainder of the drive trying to imagine if the owner of the truck -- assuming he was not the original owner -- was more embarrassed by the sentiment or the dated reference to car phones. The sticker was peeling, but had obviously been scraped repeatedly in an effort to restore some dignity to the truck.

The other half of the trip [1] was spent trying to figure out the text of bumper sticker that would be even *more* dated and embarrassing than "Car Phone Up Your Butt [2]". I came up with "I Get More Tail than Spuds McKenzie" and "Alf is My Co-Pilot."

In writing this post, however, I have decided that "Alf is My Co-Pilot" is a pretty awesome sentiment.

[1] Keep in mind, I was driving alone with Penelope in the back seat. This was a conversation in my head, not with another person.
[2] I can imagine this phrase has been uttered during the voting portion of America's Funniest Home Videos.

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