Friend in a box.

1985 was the year of Teddy Ruxpin, and I, like almost every other child in America, became mesmerized by this small-scale animatronic world of wonder.

Teddy Ruxpin was the ultimate baby-sitter in a box. To a parent, he was a battery-operated storyteller -- complete with 40 taped adventures that illustrated the value of friendship and the benefits of sharing.

To a child, he was an instant friend -- one who shared his fanciful stories, blinked his plastic eyes and moved his mouth as if he was real.

This, at least, is what I think having Teddy Ruxpin as my friend would have been like. I really can't say since my parents never bought me one.

No, that doesn't sound too bitter.

While I wasn't the quintessential spoiled, only child, I'd have to say that Santa was usually very generous at Christmas. Living with two sets of "parents" (my grandparents and my parents) usually meant a boatload of gifts that guaranteed an obscenely gleeful Christmas morning.

However, there were some toys that I was destined never to own. The rock tumbler (you already have one). The Easy-Bake Oven (too dangerous). The Ouija Board (toy of the devil). The ventriloquist's dummy (also the toy of the devil).

To my parents, Teddy Ruxpin fell into the devil's spawn category -- and, to a certain extent I would have to agree that he was a bit creepy.

He was evil in a Snuggle sort of way. You know, cute and innocent to mask his sinister plans.

Well, that's at least how my family viewed Snuggle.

In spite of his seemingly evil ulterior motives, Teddy Ruxpin was really quite a neat toy and he remained in the top spot on my Christmas list.

In my third-grade class, Teddy Ruxpin was the toy to get.

There was another talking bear toy on the market that year -- AG Bear. Created by Axlon, Inc., a company founded by Atari creator Nolan Bushnell, AG bear mimic a speaker's voice and repeated back the speech patterns with an added "bear inflection."

To us kids, AG Bear was no Teddy Ruxpin:

Jeff (a jerky classmate): I'm getting a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas!

Mena: Well, so am I.

Jeff: I bet you won't -- Teddy Ruxpin doesn't want to talk to you.

Mena: Yes he will.

Jeff: Teddy wouldn't waste his time.

Mena: Well, then, you're getting an AG Bear.

Jeff: No I'm not!

Mena: Yes, you are! And you're going have to listen to those mumbles while Teddy Ruxpin tells me stories. Wait until Christmas morning when AG is under your tree.

Jeff: Shut up!

Mena: Mu mu mu mu mu ma mu ma mu (AG speak)

I remember this conversation as if it was yesterday. We eventually stopped personally attacking each other and simply began a general chat about how AG paled in comparison to Teddy Ruxpin. And although we didn't like each other, we found a common thread in mocking AG Bear.

A couple days later and about a week from Christmas, I began the usual ritual of shaking and examining all the gifts under our Christmas tree -- an act that my mom likes to call "Mena ability to ruin any sort of surprise."

It was then when -- after shaking a particularly interesting box -- I heard a familiar sound.

"Mu mu mu mu mu ma mu ma mu."

It was then when my face dropped, and any trace of a smile vanished into the fir tree-scented air as I came to this realization:

"Oh my God, I got an AG Bear."

I wasn't angry.

I wasn't disappointed.

I was sad -- sad that I had made fun of the little guy that was now under my tree.

I was sad because I pictured my mother buying AG and thinking how much I would love it.

I was sad because I was such a horrible person.

And then, this sadness turned into fear: On Christmas morning, how was I going to fake enthusiasm for a present that (1) wouldn't be a surprise (2) I had mocked with such cruelty.

For the next couple days, I had the look of absolute turmoil on my face -- an expression I like to call "the Kevin." You know Steve Martin's kid in Parenthood -- the one who loses his retainer and always looks worried?

That's Kevin.

I've never been one able to disguise anguish and in a matter of days, I broke down in tears and told my mother the whole story. I told her how sorry I was for making fun of AG and that I loved him (even though he was still wrapped up in a box).

Through even more tears, I told her that I would always love AG Bear and that he was really so much better than Teddy Ruxpin. AG was the underdog, I explained, and I appreciated his subtle sweetness over Teddy Ruxpin's saccharine charm (Though not in those exact words).

And you know what the funniest thing is? After 16 years and ten different houses, I still have AG Bear -- at this moment, he's a matter of inches away from my computer screen.

Now, that's devotion.

What was your best gift?

Comments

[Helen]

I don't remember my favorite gift, but I do remember that one year I was so excited about my gifts that I snuck two out from under the tree and opened them early. One was a Disney soundrack for Aladdin. My parents threatened to take away all my presents, and I 'bribed' them by giving them all the money I had: my mom and my dad each got $9.

[nicole]

three or so years ago, the lomo. last year, a sewing machine. my boy is really receptive to my creating things! the only bad thing was that I felt like I couldn't live up to such fantastic gifts... well, I'm making things for him using both, so I suppose that's the point*

[The Dane]

your family was right. snuggle is evil to the core. i think he did something with the kid sister i never had. if someone had put a stop to that cursed bear years ago, i might this very day be writing a christmas car to my dear little sister at her first year as an architecture major at cal poly san luis obispo. and people wonder why the holidays are so depressing

[Rachel]

My best friend told me once about how she had a Teddy Ruxpin doll when she was younger, the talking one, of course. I was thrilled, as Teddy Ruxpin had been one of those strange cartoons I could recall coming on t.v. at 6:30 a.m., back when I actually got out of bed willingly before 11:00. She then proceeded to describe how her younger cousin had pulled off Teddy's nose, transforming him into something vaguely threatening ["he looked like the devil" were probably her exact words], and how he was just never the same afterwards. Ah, thanks for the memories Mena. ^_^

ps: I love your blog, read it regularly.

[TC]

That was a lovely story with a happy ending! Thanks for writing it. I wish I had a similar experience, but I don't. My favorite gift that I never got was a go-kart from the Sears catalogue. I would spend afternoons staring at the go-kart page. Just well, considering how dangerous they are. Now I ride a motorcycle.

I did get a Texas Instruments TI994A though, about the same time. I thought it would become my best friend, used as I was to all of the talking, intelligent computers on TV. I even named it. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be a simple appliance with no personality. Just as well, considering there are things like Bonzi Buddy out there. Now I have real friends.

[kismet]

I was always pretty lucky in the christmas-department, even when my parents were flat broke. However, I remember one Xmas when I was about 5 or so, I opened up a package to find cars. I was certain that they were not for me because why would someone buy me cars? Turned out they were remote control cars of some sort. I think my dad bought them for "me" so he could play with them.

[Ryan]

I can tell you the strangest present I ever got: a Tonka truck.

When I was 13.

The package said "ages 3 and up." Feigning enthusiasm for that gift was nearly impossible... on the brink of puberty I got a toy truck. Sheesh.

It was from an aunt I didn't see very often, but in my mind, I still think she should have known better. :)

[Kacey]

Oh my goodness, I was dying at that story. How funny and yet sad at the same time! You know though, I still do that with my stuffed toys, feel guilty for not treating them as if they weren't somehow alive. When I was little I had all these stuffed toys and of course I had to sleep with all of them because otherwise it wouldn't be fair. At one time I had a system of rotating them so they all got a chance to be nearest to me.
As for my favorite Christmas present, I'm not really sure. I can't remember ever loving a Christmas present so much... Oh wait, yes I do! Last year I kept hinting at a computer just for me and my sister, even though there was no way we could afford it. I was really only being half-way serious, because I knew I wouldn't get it. But then on Christmas we'd opened all the presents when mom said that we had one more. My sister and I started looking around, wondering what it was, when dad pointed at the computer he'd been building in our living room the entire month! We'd thought it was just another one for him, and then it turned out being ours, I was shocked! Even though it only lasted about two months, I will still remember that one as the most meaningful and probably life changing present I ever got.

AUTHOR:
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DATE: 12/12/2001 06:07:20 PM
AUTHOR:
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DATE: 12/12/2001 06:07:20 PM

[anna]

AUTHOR: anna
EMAIL: iiiikissiiii@aol.com
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URL: https://www.iqueef.com
DATE: 01/01/2002 11:28:04 AM
AUTHOR: anna
EMAIL: iiiikissiiii@aol.com
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URL: https://www.iqueef.com
DATE: 01/01/2002 11:28:04 AM

[anna]

i think your site is groovy, like a peice of shag carpet, or a hefner song. yumm ^ ^

[Cynthia]

Hey, I still have my AG Bear too :)

[rebecca]

My first 'adult'(ahem) boyfriend gave me AG for the winter holidays in 1985. I have kept AG for over 17 years. My ex husband hated AG and threw away him away one day. I cried and hid AG (now he was naked and missing his vocal box) until my kiddle was born. She used to borow 'Mommy's Bear' to cuddle whenever she felt blue. Well, I am back with my first love today, after 17 years apart. AG? He's still here, and he means more to me than ever. Now, if I could only find another Voltron magnetic clock!

[Vanessa]

The snuggle bear is the most evil thing on the face of this earth. Teddy ruxipin is entirely scary. I agree. Someone should have burned the Snuggle bear and Teddy (a.k.a. Parental Neglect) and burn them like the witches at Salem.