Did I mention that people suck?

On Saturday, we had plans to meet up with a few people at an establishment in a "non-gentrified" section of town. While "non-gentrified" certainly has all sorts of questionable sociological implications, to us, it simply meant "It's Tempo time."

We're at a weird stage of new car ownership. We love driving our new Civic around and we're nowhere near as paranoid about scratches and dents as when we first purchased the car. However, we're still a bit hesitant to park in unfamiliar neighborhoods.

As we were getting into the Tempo, we questioned the logic of not driving the "safe car" to the city late at night. What's the point of having airbags if you're not going to drive the car with the airbags?

And why must we always be so paranoid of car theft or vandalism? Why shouldn't we give people the benefit of the doubt.

Besides, we had made plans to park in a familiar area and then walk to the destination. That way, we wouldn't have to worry about finding a parking spot. A couple weeks ago, while trying to park in North Beach on a Friday night, we were reminded just how much San Francisco is not a driver's town.

On Saturday night, neither one of us wanted to be reminded again.

Although all arguments seemed to favor us driving the Civic to The City, we remained stubbornly set on driving the Tempo.

Fast forward to six hours later.

---

We had just finished a brisk fifteen minute walk when we got to our car and noticed that there was a hole in one of the backseat windows. We actually "heard" the hole first -- courtesy of my door shutting. After hearing the glass crashing to the ground, I looked back and tried to make sense of the situation while in a slightly inebriated state.

"Oh well," I said. "At least it wasn't the Civic."

During the car ride home, we joked about putting a plastic bag up as a temporary window. A Hefty bag and duct tape would certainly theft-proof our car.

Of course, this is only funny now since we actually have a better car at home. Six months ago we wouldn't be laughing.

And since nothing was stolen and the door wasn't even unlocked, the broken window was probably the result of some jackasses trying to be funny.

I have no tolerance for pranks.

Most of the time they are the acts of teenagers with absolutely no empathy.

I'll never understand how anyone can be cruel enough to damage something that another person cares about. Be it garden statues, mailboxes, cars or even carved pumpkins at Halloween.

Saturday's incident reminded me of the time that some neighborhood kids thought they were being hilariously clever and "oranged" my grandparents 1971 Buick Skylark.

I don't know if "oranging" is a common practice, but basically, they took oranges and rubbed them all along the car's body and windows. I assume their goal was to damage the paint job.

Instead, they accomplished an even "funnier" goal.

Because my grandparents didn't have time to clean the car before taking me to school (first or second grade), we had no choice but to drive that sticky mess.

No more than five minutes into our drive and about halfway to my school, a Hitchcockian nightmare occurred.

While stopped at a red light on the corner of Ventura and Topanga Canyon, a swarm of bees began surrounding the car. Before we could react, a good number of bees had entered through the backseat window.

Now, I'll never be sure if these bees followed us from home or just happened to be at that corner. I like to picture a little posse of bees getting larger and larger with every neighborhood we passed. One bee uniting the cause with a confident "Come, on guys ... we've got work to do."

All I know is that the Buick must have been some sort of bee fantasy come true — a whale of a boat dripping with their very own ambrosia.

While entertaining now, these little fantasies certainly weren't playing through my mind as I hid under my grandmother. Instead, I screamed as my grandmother shooed and by some miracle, the bees left through the window from which they came.

Funny, funny prank.

I'm proud to say that I never egged, TP'd, or shaving-creamed anything in my life.

I was raised well. Others weren't.

So now I have a jarful of safety glass that constantly reminds me of that fact.

Comments

[Ryan]

When things like this happen, no matter how positive your view on people in general is, it'll be ruined.

I've managed to escape without any major problems with my car. At our old townhouse, some jackass keyed my trunk all the way across as well as the trunks of the two cars next to mine. My car still has the scratch... sort of a battle scar to show that it survived beind parked in a Falls Church, VA parking lot.

After we moved, my car was egged (along with about a dozen others on nearby blocks). That was more annoying than anything (I remember saying, "I thought we moved to get away from this crap...") and I was pissed that I had to clean it off when I was already in a rush to get to work.

But I've never had anything stolen, thank goodness. I also rarely drive into the city and don't have much of value in my car, though...

[monique]

I really enjoyed this story, especially the part about the bees.

It's sad that some people don't have enough home training to be able to be out in public with doing something destructive. I fear for the youth today because they are our future and if this is what we have to look forward to.......

I don't even want to think about it.

[megan]

Oh Mena I'm so sorry! We have a soft-top jeep and it gets broken into constantly as we have to park on the street. We know it will be broken into, we don't leave anything in it because of that, but it still makes me incredibly sad each time it happens.

The car I drove in college was constantly scratched, the antenna was bent and broken, and my back windshield was busted out one day.

I'm glad you weren't driving the good car at least.

best

[Kristin]

being a member the teenage population, i resent your hastily-placed blame. i, for a fact, have never willingly done anything destructive to someone's property.

the injury done to your car could just have easily been inflicted by yuppies playing frisbee in the street or drunkards stumbling home in the night. and don't go talking like adults when you've only been out of your "teens" for five years.

word.

but that does suck about the car. good thing you brought the red one to the "ghetto."

[Mena]

Kristin: Do you remember me liking teenagers that much when I actually was a teenager? True, it could have been some professionals with a frisbie or perhaps a person with a substance abuse problem but in general, teenagers do suck. Anyway, aren't you guys always complaining that Ben and I are too adult-like?

[Darryl]

We totally know what you feeling.
We have a shiny black highend SUV as well as our 'utilitarian' beater. The beater can be parked anywhere with the windows down, unlocked, without a care in the world. The SUV is given special care, never parked in direct sun, alarm always on, parked only in secured parking areas.
Which one gets the windows smashed? yep- the SUV.
Which one is more expensive to insure? yep- the SUV.
Which one is going up for sale in the spring? yep- the SUV.
Sometimes you just cannot have nice things.
It is terribly sad really.

[Mena]

monique: I really do think it comes down to parenting or how someone is raised. Even if the broken window wasn't intentional (say it was caused by some frisbie), a good person would write a note. I'm just going to hope that it was an accident and the person didn't know about it.

[Mena]

All of these stories make me *really* want to drive the Civic. I guess you just have to deal with these stupid sort of things. I'd prefer a broken window over a keyed door though. Keying is like the absolutely jerkiest thing to do.

[Kristin]

i know. i don't really like "teenagers" either. i was just trying to annoy you.

[Kay]

Mena, I am really sorry that happened to your car. I've been parking in that neighborhood for a year and nothing. Bummer. Not sure this will make you feel better, but it looks like someone was out and about smashing windows that night. I noted that there was an enormous amount of window glass on Fulton (it looked lik 6 cars in a row had been hit) Sunday morning.

Glad nothing was taken. Usually (unfortunately frequently in Southern California) when my window was broken, something was also missing (usually the crappy cheap radio). That is a small blessing, but what a pain in the behind!

[Jennie]

Sorry to hear this. People do suck, and you really can't have nice things. It's universal.

In Detroit a few years ago, someone went through our apartment lot and keyed every other car. Including Darin's shiny new Tercel. It was a lease, and they had to repaint an entire panel, so he had to pay the $500 deductible to get it fixed.

Now he's leasing a RAV4. Which someone dented in a parking lot the first month he had it.

Sometimes I think my old beater is worth the embarrassment just for the lack of stress :-)

[andrea]

my first car had its windscreen smashed one evening while I was visiting friends. The man who came to replace it the next day said it looked as though someone had taken a baseball bat to it. And people think the suburbs are safe.

I hope yours was an accident as mine so clearly was not.

[Jay]

Mena, I can't believe that happened! Where exactly did you park? I've been parking in this neighborhood for 10 months and have never had anything like that happen to me. Perhaps I, like Kay, am lucky. So sorry to hear that that happened to you when you came all the way to see us. :-(

I really want to know where you parked so that I can avoid that area. I wonder if they only hit "visitor" cars (as recognized by the absence of a street parking sticker). Hmmm.

Anyway, it sucks that it happened and I hope you dxon't let it dissuade you from coming to see us again.

[Paul]

Mena: My sister bought a brand-new, nicely equipped car back in 1998, and while I lived at home, she parked on the driveway. On our nice, decent suburban street, we awoke one morning to find a huge, deep key mark across the hood - a good foot or so long!

I can recommend a product or two to remedy the keying/tiny chips situation. But I wish there was such an easy solution to remedy disrespect. ("respect in a can"?)

[TC]

I have to say, though, I find it hilarious that people buy SUVs and then keep them in such pristine fashion, never getting them dirty, never going off road...just getting miserable gas mileage and endangering other drivers to have that "rough" image that a minivan can't impart. I don't condone keying or glass-breaking, but sometimes I wish I had a vat of mud on hand when I see a forest of SUVs in a mall parking lot.

[Mena]

Kay, I don't know if it makes me feel any better to know that it wasn't an isolated incident. At least we weren't targeted. :)

Jay, We parked on the corner of Masonic and Fell. We've parked there many many times before without incident so I think this may have just been a fluke. Still, all these comments make me feel like we're quite outnumbered by mean-spirited people.

[Cass]

once while parked in a college parking lot, my dear, 14-year-old Ford Ranger truck was keyed all down one side. "The Meandering Peabody," as I called him, had more dings and scratches and rust patches than a junkyard heap. he was also covered in various stickers. none of his gauges worked.

so why did Peabody get the key, in such a state as he was? i did laugh when i saw it, because it was ridiculous. but it made me think: perhaps there are Key Vandals out there who think of themselves as grafitti artists, putting their mark on the world whether it wants it or not. Peabody certainly sported his new decoration with pride.

so, to any Artist Vandals out there, i say: choose your canvas wisely. some enjoy your work, and appreciate it for what it is. and some don't want you anywhere near them, with good reason. why waste your work?

[.sara]

topanga/ventura: a local girl! (:

sorry about the car, though. that's pretty crappy.

and jay: as the owner of a '97 jeep, i'm proud to say that she stays dirty most of the time and she gets roughed up every chance we get. that's what she's for! (:

[Nicole]

I can relate to the Buick story--my sad ol' 66 Dodge was the target of a streetwide egging a few Halloweens back, and unlike your Grandparents, I didn't even notice for a week (my car is a dirty white, made dirtier by, well, dirt). By that point my reasonably okay paint job was turning ugly...I keep thinking about a paint job, but that's only if I stay in a place that has parking. But Masonic and Fell? That's ridiculous, considering the small war waged on nicer autos in the Mission, it seems it's catching. Please do let us know what restores your faith in mankind--this is depressing.

[Kevin]

Jeez, when I was a kid I thought anyone who complained about "egging" or the like was hopelessly in the grip of "the man" and just didn't know how to have fun. Now I'm bit wiser now and realize that making work for and annoying other people at random because its your idea of a good time isn't funny at all.

I'm sorry that all happened, Mena. Thanks for reminding me of that lesson.

[Miguel]

sorry about your car, mena. i'd had my new car (the first new car of my life) about a week before someone spraypainted it. and this morning on my way to work, i was thinking about my parents being rearended (hit and run) in seattle by a guy about 35 in an SUV, what a jerk. and as i was thinking about that, some guy rearended me and took off. (luckily traffic was moving really slow and there was no damage).

[Chris]

hi mena,

we got a new civic last year and every door ding and tiny scratch in the first few months was like a dagger through the heart. the other week i unwittingly parked under an oak tree and discovered that there were 25 hail sized dings in the hood from falling acorns! live and learn (and weep). 8^)