Eat Me!

Yesterday, while dishing out our lunch — Annie's Alfredo, a "classier," planet-loving version of macaroni and cheese -- I caught myself doing one of my compulsive anthropomorphizing behaviors.

With two bowls in hand, I began to walk upstairs when I realized that a lone shell was left on the wooden spoon. I thought to ignore the shell -- after all it was just a piece of pasta, an inanimate object.

But that didn't work.

I went back to the sink and made sure that the cheese-covered shell went into one of our bowls. My reason? Well, I didn't want its "life" to be in vain. It had a purpose; it was meant to be eaten.

Why should I deny it its place in the noble cause.

Ever since I was a child, I have viewed my food as little warriors and little friends. Eating cheerios was always a daunting task. There could never be a left-over "O" — not just because of my desire not to waste, but also because I didn't want it to feel left out.

Cheerio: Hey Mena, don't miss me!

Cheerio2: I'm over here! Don't forget me!

Me: Okay, okay I'll get to you all.

Cheerio Elder: Mena, our purpose in life is to be part of your healthy breakfast.

Me: Thanks, guys!

Making friends with food is probably not the healthiest of practices.

What bothers me most is not that I have such an intimate relationship with cereal, but rather that I can anthropomorphize grain yet I can not force myself to become a vegetarian.

Why do I force myself to see the soul of a Corn Pop yet can not refrain from eating garlic sesame chicken?

The truth is that I love meat a bit too much.

And though I can barely look at a Golden Retriever without crying out of pure love for animals, I can not be strong enough to make a distinction between the cute animals and the barnyard sort.

I think it's just a matter of willpower. I mean, I gave up veal and lamb. Why don't I just extend the ban on their elders?

I'm just a weak person, I guess.

Comments

[Naz]

Going vegetarian is tough. I've been an off and on vegetarian for a while now, my only vice being fish and seafood (since I'm addicited to sushi and Japanese), but for a while there chicken was almost impossble to give up. Red Meat was easy, chicken was not. But slowly and then suddenly, I just gave it up. I think if you stick to things that you like to eat and are moderate about it, then that's okay. People ask me, whether I'm a fish-etarian for the health aspects or the humane aspects. I'd have to say 70-30, on the healthy side.

[mimi smartypants]

Oh my goodness. I have the same bizarre problem. As a child, my mother actually used to get me to finish food by making it "talk"---"we want to be in your stomach, with our friends!" the peas would cry. It made me feel very strange and guilty.

I am a vegetarian, but I think this anthropomorphic food thing is an entirely separate issue. Thanks for eloquently verbalizing this; I've tried to explain my feelings for food and always gotten weird looks. Now I'll just link to your site.

[JessaJune]

Annies... yum.

I used to anthropomorphize my sliverware, if that makes you feel any better. I'm not, err, sure what that says about me.

[Moss]

Wow... you mean I'm not the only one that does that?

I love the web.

[kay]

ha ha ha.... I'm glad our family is not alone. The only way my mnother was able to get my very picky eater brother to eat pasta was to name them. This is wanda and fred and simon... (for some reason wanda and fred were always the first two names). Of course, my brother totally denies this story.

[kay]

ha ha ha.... I'm glad our family is not alone. The only way my mnother was able to get my very picky eater brother to eat pasta was to name them. This is wanda and fred and simon... (for some reason wanda and fred were always the first two names). Of course, my brother totally denies this story.